10 ways to cope when you feel like your world is falling apart
1. Put down your phone.
It's easy to get pulled into news and social media, even if we initially are engaging with it to distract us from hard stuff. For some, it can feel like you're being sucked into a dark hole and it's so hard to look away.
2. Check on your friends.
One of the easiest ways to pull us out of our own spiraling thoughts and building fears is to reach out to a friend and ask how they are doing. This simple act switches us from feeling like a victim of our world to feeling like a helper, which is incredibly powerful.
3. Find some green.
No, not money, but nature. If it's safe to go outside and look at a tree, do that. If you have grass you can stand barefoot in, do that. Reconnecting with nature slows down our fears and our thoughts. If you can swing it, I even recommend laying on your back on a picnic blanket and watching the clouds roll by. Similarly, going outside on a clear night and seeing the stars can cause a dramatic shift in perspective.
4. Do a body scan.
If you're having physical symptoms of anxiety, like heart racing and shortness of breath, tingly extremities or butterflies in your stomach, doing a certain type of body scan can greatly calm your nervous system (which is the culprit in all those symptoms described above). Here are the instructions: sit in a comfortable position, and close your eyes. Starting at the top of your head, slowly scan your awareness from top to bottom of your body, noticing where you feel CALMNESS. Yes, you'll probably feel other things, but for this exercise we're going to focus on calm. Once you notice where you feel calmness, take a couple breaths while trying to focus your breath on that calm feeling in your body. Next, you're going to make a fist with your right hand and squeeze your fist for 1 to 2 seconds. Now, repeat with your left fist. Continue alternating sides until you have done a total of 10-20 reps. Now, repeat the body scan from top to bottom and notice where the calm is now. One you have that awareness, repeat the alternating fist squeezing for another set of 10-20 reps. Do this exercise between 2 and 5 times and then notice how different your body feels.
5. Take your nervous system for a walk.
Do some exercise. Any exercise. Yoga on the living room floor or a brisk jog around your neighborhood. Exercise helps us regulate our body's reaction to stress.
6. Check in with yourself about caffeine.
I know we love our coffee and tea routines, but when we are already feeling on edge or panicky, any caffeine can heighten our sensitivity to stress and make us feel even more on edge. If you are someone who regularly has several cups of coffee or tea in a day, run an experiment where you track your daily mood and your daily caffeine intake. You may be surprised at the correlation.
7. Practice gratitude.
Look around the room you are in and list off the things/people/moments that you are grateful for. For example, in this moment, I am grateful for my refrigerator full of food, my sleeping children, and my dog who is uncharacteristically being very well behaved while I work.
8. Turn on music and dance.
It is hard to hang on to fear and panic when you're groovin to some tunes.
9. Play with a kid.
If you don't have your own kid at home, call someone on facetime and have a banana-phone conversation with someone. Kids are really good at being in the moment and pulling adults out of their introspection.
10. Ask for help.
THIS IS THE BIG ONE, Y'ALL. If you already have a therapist, reach out to them and be honest about how well you're coping (or not at all). If you don't have a therapist, but think you could benefit from one (you could!), get on the internet and search all the sites until you come up with some contenders. Sites like psychologytoday.com, therapyden.com, emdria.org and so many others are out there with so many resources. If you have health insurance, call your provider and ask if mental health is covered and what restrictions there are on it, then ask for a list of people in your area who are accepting new clients.